Please note, that this album runs for 16 minutes and is not designed to be taken seriously. Obviously, the album cover says it all. In an era where music is often garbage and is often a celebrity with a laptop, that is exactly what this album is. The music was widely panned here, although Lil Mariko did have some later breakthrough successes with some hit singles. A mixture of Hyperpop and Trap Metal? Are these even music genres? Produced by her boyfriend Jared Soule, this had better be an interesting listen. Let’s jump in and listen to this short album, released on 18 March 2021.

1. Hi, I’m A Slut sounds like a new age ringtone for 18-19 year old ladies who want to grab attention in a nightclub. It’s pretty funny and dirtily sexual, revealing Lil Mariko to be your local Asian lady with a nymphomaniac basis. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Musically, this is a simple and postmodern Pop Music tune with some of the most dirty, profane and sexual lyrics out there. There is a mock dialogue in the second half as well, and this tune is really like the sort of thing that one would hear in the mood. Worth adding to your Spotify playlist if you are up for it. Very funny, simple and cheesy.

2. Don’t Touch features Full Tac, aka Lil Mariko’s boyfriend. It sounds like a weird tune with a mixture of Techno sounds and screamed yelping, launching into one of the cheesiest songs out there. This has some interesting spoken word lyrics about being so annoyed with a dude that one wants to castrate him. This is very awful, to be honest. It just goes to show exactly how bad the music scene is becoming today, and is not needed to be heard. At all. Terrible music. This is not needed nor worth hearing. Avoid. It ends with some manic laughter.

3. 100 Dicks begins with some weird noises and iPhone message sounds, going straight into a tune about a lady’s text messages. Appalling. This is worse than the most terrible K-Pop songs, and one should never listen to this garbage and filth. Fortunately, this is exactly not worth hearing and despite this being designed for anyone born after the year 2000, it is just not on. A really bad tune, just avoid.

4. I’m Baby is more of the same and sounds brutally stupid. This is the worst album made so far in the 21st century. There is no value nor promise to this garbage of an album. Sure, the first song is okay but this is not recommended to anyone with clean ears or a music brain. The Metal guitars and screaming are absolutely horrid. One should never hear this junk. With lyrics about murder and brutality, this is not on. Like Tia Carrere on drugs, this is bad. Very, very bad.

5. Disgusting features Zheani and is more normal sounding with some EDM sounds and beats, launching into a tune about more sexual based orientations out there. This is the equivalent of getting a pornographic text message from a lover, in an inappropriate place. Weird. This is ruined by the Metal screaming in the second half. Just, no. A really very bad listen, and regardless of your sexual orientation, this is bad music. Junk. It ends with beats and textures.

6. Shiny features Full Tac. This is another atrocious song to roll your eyes to. This is exactly why postmodern music is not anywhere near as good as The Chemical Brothers, let alone The Beatles or Pink Floyd. A weird song about sexual desires with some awful screaming throughout. This album deserves the worst album of all time ranking, as you probably can tell. Shockingly bad music, “Yeah…even my shit is shiny”. Nobody’s is. Get a life.

7. Catboys is the last song on this atrocious album. It has sped up vocals and launches into a sub-standard song that makes zero sense to listen to. If your girlfriend can’t make music, don’t put her near a microphone. This is a terrible tune to sum up the worst album that one can seriously spend under 20 minutes listening to. Everything is wrong with society when you hear such junk as this. The screaming at the end returns. Just no. Horrid.

Do not listen to this. At all. There is nothing to be said good about this album, because there is nothing good about that. The worst music you can possibly hear today.

Like having a punch in the face, or being sick with COVID-19.

0/10