Kid Rock is a living joke of a man that makes good Rock music. Re-read that first sentence again. Obviously, after the full-on Country Rock of Born Free, released in 2010, Kid Rock needed to return at least somewhat to his old jovial self, rather than attempt to become the next Johnny Cash. A wise decision, Kid Rock is best at making some cool Rock tunes that have power, humour and a trashy nature about said songs. He is professional in a way, but being a serious Country musician would unlikely suit him in the long run. This album is an attempt to break away from the seriousness of Born Free with some extra lessons learned. In any case, this isn’t the best Kid Rock album that has been received in his back catalogue of many albums over the years and is a transitional musical album, above all, seemingly. Let’s take a listen to this album and hear what it offers.

Chickens In The Pen begins with some cool drums before Kid Rock launches into a sleazy tune about…farm animals. It’s rather awful from the start, and yes, this is very Country. An okay listen, but Kid Rock has done much better than this before, even on Born Free. This is a Southern USA style romp with some awful melodies and Gospel singing that are worth ejecting this CD (or any other audio format that you may have of this rubbish) and throwing it away. Seriously, this is not very good. You’re much better off getting a copy of the Eagles Hotel California album and blasting that instead. A trashy, stupid and useless listen, so much so that even the guitar solo doesn’t save this trite from being binned. Nonsensical rubbish, it makes one shake their head and think, “Is this the same guy who said he was a Devil Without A Cause way back in 1998?” Absolute rubbish, it has a robo voice towards the end, before this horrible music finally wraps up slowly. Terrible. The outro isn’t worth it, either, with some Fender Stratocaster playing and Kid Rock stating a stupid comment over and over again. Lame.

Let’s Ride begins with some quiet instrumentation that, again, really stinks. It sounds very ordinary. Soon enough, a very AC/DC sounding groove emerges with some heavy guitars here. This is a little better than before, but only in a minuscule way. This whole album is rubbish so far, and Kid Rock’s raspy vocals have seen better days. Maybe he should give up smoking or something, no matter if it is nicotine or meth? Unsurprisingly, this is another failure musically and it sounds like Kid Rock is worn out with the whole exercise of making music that is good. A piece of rubbish, Kid Rock does not redeem himself in any way by making these songs. Perhaps he was aware that Rock music’s days were numbered and delivered an album to ensure that this trend would continue. This is by far the worst album so far that Kid Rock has released to date. Terrible. Do not listen to this garbage. Also, it is quite lengthy at just under five minutes for a simple song. Kid Rock? More like a little kid. Grow up, lad. The scream at the end is horrible.

3 CATT Boogie begins with some awful Fender Telecaster playing, and it sounds so poorly made that it doesn’t flow at all nicely. Soon enough, drums emerge and this tune gets underway. It sounds a lot like Southern Rock, but again, this isn’t good at all. It’s an improvement on what has come before, but it sounds like a terrible tune indeed. Kid Rock sounds like he is lost here. Perhaps the guy lost his musical mojo around this time? Regardless, this tune is not worth it. A bad song that is enough to put one to sleep, you’d be better off listening to The Polyfuze Method if you can on YouTube. That is real Kid Rock, not this pretentious music. The Southern Country vibe has been done so much better elsewhere, and there is even a lyric here where Kid Rock states about himself vs society, “Bobby’s upset because there ain’t nothing changing”. Seriously, he sounds as mature as a six-year-old. Pathetic, thank you, next.

Detroit, Michigan is Kid Rock’s hometown. It begins with some U2 like guitar parts, which are incredibly weird. This immature Kid launches into a slightly good tune with Southern Rock influences and has Kid Rock singing about girls, girls, girls and various locations in the USA. A weird tune indeed, but it is nice for Kid Rock to devote a song to his hometown. An interesting listen lyrically, this music sounds really weird but it’s just below average, rather than absolutely awful. Indeed, most of the USA is an interesting place for people to drive around and explore throughout. That is what this song is also about. It’s okay, but unfortunately, is fairly naff to listen to today. It ends with chanted backing vocals and Kid Rock finalising his song. Meh.

Rebel Soul is, of course, the title track. It begins with some nice acoustic guitar strumming and quickly has some beefy Fender Telecaster parts enter. Kid Rock sings about his own life journey in an autobiographical way. Referencing some past songs and also singing selfishly about his past experiences in life, Kid Rock has done much better than this on previous albums. The guitar solo is muddy and is quite unimpressive as well. Seems like Kid Rock at this point was just making music for the sake of it, and not thinking it through properly. There is a ghostly choir mock harmony section in the second half before this returns to the music at hand. Only a cowboy hillbilly would really enjoy this rubbish. This is just absurdly bad, and enough to send one to sleep. An appalling title track and nothing special here, avoid it like the plague.

God Save Rock n Roll begins with some Fender Telecaster parts and some slide guitar. This man who is Kid(ding) launches into a piece of music that is actually alright. It sounds a little more focused and interesting here, but all the same sounds like a hangover from Born Free. Nothing hugely special here, and although Southern Country music is good to hear from musicians, it doesn’t suit Kid Rock’s position of being an immature joker. This is just the same as the album where Garth Brooks ditched Country music in an odd attempt to sell out. The difference? Kid Rock wants to be taken seriously here, something that he later no doubt regretted. This is snooze hour for Kid Rock fans, there is nothing special nor wonderful musically or lyrically here. A sad piece of music, not in a melancholy way, but just in a disappointing sense. An ordinary tune about Detroit and such (again), this is terrible. Awful music, do not listen to this song.

Happy New Year begins with some Fender Telecaster twangy guitars in the left channel and acoustic guitars in the right channel. Kid Rock sings a token song about finding love at a social event for New Year’s Eve. No doubt this will bring back some memories for some people out there. Kid Rock shows himself to be a hypocritical embarrassment lyrically, and this is by far one of the worst songs he has recorded, even more so than Wax The Booty. There is a slide guitar solo present here, which is really weird but not unexpected. Singing about his sex life and revealing a bit too much information on that one, is a really stupid tune to hear. Kid Rock needed a rethink by this point. A really ordinary song, avoid it if you can.

Celebrate begins with some soft drumming in the background, some 1980s wannabe organs and launches into an okay sounding song that is a bit of an improvement on some of the songs before it. There are Fender Telecasters galore, and a good Rock music vibe on this tune. Sadly, again, it is on the worst Kid Rock album of them all. This album is merely Kid Rock buying himself some time musically, he probably didn’t need to release this set of tunes at all. Nothing special here, even the yeah-yeah-yeah’s here don’t sound overly enthusiastic. Good to hear some Fender Telecaster playing here though, a type of guitar that is frequently overlooked in musical history. “Mamma’s in the kitchen cooking crawfish pie, Daddy’s by the river watching fish go by,” is repeated here, before quite a good screamed vocal enters and this song concludes with some screaming guitars. A better song, even if this is not worth hearing ever again. It ends with extended harmonies, before finishing up. A slight improvement.

The Mirror begins with some weird sounds in the background, totally unlike anything Kid Rock has done before, before launching into an Electronic drum beat. Some loose guitars then enter, both acoustic and electric. Kid Rock then sings with a load of autotune on his voice and sounds warped and weird here. This was obviously made under the influence and obviously suffers as a result. This is total rubbish, awful even for Kid Rock’s low standards. A depressing and worthless piece of musical junk, this is almost along the lines of the Van Halen III album, or Metallica’s St. Anger disaster. In other words, avoid this absolute trite. Fingernails down a blackboard are quite possibly the only thing to hear that is worse than this. Kid Rock makes an open plea to a lady he is in love with, with some more guitar soloing here. A really stupid idea for both a song and an album, please do not listen to this under any circumstances. Absolutely awful, Kid Rock needs some therapy here. The audio equivalent of projectile vomiting.

Mr. Rock n Roll is another long tune. It begins with some dark atmospheric keyboard sounds and some female vocal harmonies in a Gospel style. This is surely a joke, even from Kid Rock’s low standards. It quickly launches into a more Classic Rock piece than you’d expect, with some 1950s styled sounds and some 1970s Hard Rock riffing. Referencing Jerry Lee Lewis and other Rock greats, this is a good historical point lyrically but this is not the way that Kid Rock should be saving Rock and Roll itself. A really pathetic and ordinary piece that would be better off avoiding and putting into the bin, buy the 1000 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die book instead for some Rock history. After some Aerosmith styled yelping, Kid Rock launches into a manic guitar solo. This is kind of okay, but it lacks musical consistency throughout. The midsection goes back into the same sounds as the intro, and this piece becomes boring again. Kid Rock sings in a passionate way, and he obviously wants to ruin the listener’s ears throughout this song. You don’t need to listen to this nonsense, and you never should do. The harmonies present are pretty, and Kid Rock returns back into the main song without warning. This would have been a better tune if it were shorter in length. Still, it is good to hear Kid Rock in a historical way singing about influential Rock musicians. Obviously, Rock music is rather dead commercially today, and Kid Rock expected this song to bring back Rock music itself. He fails here, but it’s sort of okay this tune. It ends with the spacey keyboards from before.

Cucci Galore begins with some drumming, before launching into some truly awful music that is so terrible that you should never hear this under any circumstances whatsoever. A terrible tune about sexual deeds with mainly female vocals, this is exactly what you don’t need to hear. A head-shakingly bad and embarrassing tune to listen to, it is four and half minutes of absolute nonsense. Not something that anyone other than Kid Rock would enjoy, this is a truly unenjoyable piece of music that is so selfish and not worth it that you will be shaking your head in disgust. It’s all about Kid Rock’s sexual endeavours. Dude, we don’t need to be hearing about this. Repetitive, annoying and terrible, this cements Rebel Soul as one of the worst Rock music albums of all time. Four and a half minutes of a drag to listen to. Avoid. The outro is lame.

Redneck Paradise is obviously a bit of a joke. It begins with some clean Fender Telecaster parts and finally launches into a song that is actually okay. This tune is exactly what people in Southern USA, namely those in Florida would love to hear from Kid Rock. A bit of a joke song, but Kid Rock finally gets his act together and records something that sounds quite good. Unfortunately, it is on this album and even this little Kid acknowledges he is past his prime lyrically on this song. No matter though, this is a good song to hear and is very singalong as well. Kid Rock shows his personal musical side in this song, and he delivers the goods, even for just one good song on an entire album of stinkers. An enjoyable tune that sounds good to sit in the park, drinking and smoking along to. A joyous piano solo is here, followed by a good return to the chorus. An excellent and really thorough tune to enjoy, this sounds really decent and interesting. It has a false ending before Kid Rock gets this song going again. A wonderful and joyful tune, this is the only good song from this album. Even so, this is a bit long. Good, however. It ends with some cheering in the studio as the song fades out. Quite good.

Cocaine and Gin is typical Rock star stuff. It begins as a rather sweet acoustic ballad with some interesting instrumentation present, and Kid Rock sings quite a good song about selfish Rock star habits. It is an interesting tune to hear in that respect and is a nice mellow drug song to hear if you feel like using and abusing the good stuff out there, no matter if it is legal or otherwise. Still, this song reeks of a selfishness and self-obsessed attitude that Kid Rock unfortunately always has had. There is a sweet set of guitar solos in the middle, which make this come alive. Singing about his mother in the second half, it sounds like he is reflecting on some family issues at hand. Almost as good as Redneck Paradise, this is a better effort by Kid Rock.

Midnight Ferry begins with some rather pretty guitar parts and launches into a song that has already been forgotten today. Which isn’t a good thing. It’s okay, but is more of the same really, to be fair. Good to hear for both Country music fans and Kid Rock followers, but aside from that, not worth it. Kid Rock makes a rather ordinary and dull statement, trying to sound like Eric Clapton here. This is, as described on the Cocky album, Kid Snooze. It is not what fans of the guy need to hear, and the length of this song is off-putting as well. A really dull piece of music, these songs need to be seriously rethought on this album. Good, but all the same, not good enough. The guitar playing is quite good, mind you, and makes this piece sound a bit more lively than what you’d expect. A good, but sadly not great listen. It is too long as well and would have benefitted from some gentle editing. It’s okay. It ends on a single keyboard note.

Wasting Time – 2013 Version is a version of the classic song by Kid Rock. It is essential a Country music version of the song, with fiddle, bongos, piano, banjo and slide guitars. It is pleasantly different all the same, and makes a great listening experience for those who want to hear a bit of an oddity at the end of this mostly shockingly bad album. Still, you can hear how much better this song alone is compared to the newer material on Rebel Soul. An enjoyable tune to listen to from start to finish, there is a good section with Kid Rock asking those listening to put their hands up. An awesome tune and something worth hearing, Kid Rock does a good rendition of the original song, even if it is Country music. A real joy to enjoy, this is a nice rendition of the original tune. The outro has the chorus repeated in a wonderful way, before concluding with some extended singing and the album finishes here.

This is one of the worst Rock albums in history and was so bad that Kid Rock changed his style a bit on the album after it, and made a better effort musically in the future from this point on. It is not worth your time, not even for the good tracks mentioned before here, of which there are very few of them. Kid Rock? More like Kid Joke. This is his worst album so far, and do not listen to this, it’ll drag your musical ears down. Hugely disappointing.

Kid Rock shooting himself in the groin.

2/10